This Year and 20/20 Vision

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This year we began by helping out at a women’s retreat hosted here is Sedona that centered around releasing the past and allowing a clear 20/20 vision about the way forward to unfold for you on your path. And then 2020 happened and lots of stuff, both light and dark, became clear. Both out in the world and personally.

On a personal level what became more clear is that I needed a rest from always giving myself to others and to find balance with that moving forward. And, in that rest time,  I rediscovered how much i love simple things like running, biking, gardening, being outside and just listening to the stories of my children.

I saw more clearly that I need to redefine my business to include more online offerings that don’t depend on whether people come to Sedona or not. That would allow so much more freedom.

And I saw for myself the need to stay simple and peaceful when it seems like everything in the outside world is going crazy. So after the first few weeks of getting caught up in stuff I saw the need to back away and just focus on my what fires me up for now. I was surprised to find that some of the things I felt excited about weren’t socially acceptable as productive and yet I still am really ok. Things like helping my neighbors, riding a bike or binge watching netflix became what fired me up sometimes. No shit!! I realized that I don’t have to be fired up by what everyone else is fired up about and that was liberating.

And then I saw some things in society more clearly.One is that people are way more interested in drama than everyday stuff. The media feeds that drama to the max. Two, this country is not United – it is the divided states of America. Divisions of wealth, race, sex, politics and many other things keep us from focusing on things that carry a higher vibration – like love, truth, compassion, integrity. Three, the politicians are in it for themselves and the lobbies that pay them – a disgusting state of affairs. And lastly, there are some great people doing great things and the media seems to have little  to no interest in talking about these things.

So what has become clear to me is that you need to do the things that fire you up and bring you the most satisfaction regardless of what anyone else thinks of that. You do you!!!! When you do you everyone you meet feels that energy and can be inspired from you. And it doesn’t matter what it is that you are doing as long as you are doing you. When you do what feels right to you in any given moment then you are changing the world for the better.

It has been my experience that when you react from an emotional charge then you are less likely to follow thru on what you started because there is no sustained energy behind it, no meat/sturdiness. Once the charge goes, your attention wanes. And then your mind goes looking for something else to entertain it.

So one of the best things you can do right now is let your  emotional charges pass thru you and clear them. To not do this means letting the charge get the best of you from which your mind takes over and fills your awareness with all kind of bullshit thoughts based only on fear. Then that fear spreads everywhere. Once you clear your emotional charge then you are in a better space to hear what fires you up and then act accordingly. You are in a better space to hear what each moment requires of you presently, whatever that may be. When you clear your emotional charge and still feel fired up then you become a wonderful clear channel for Life to flow thru.

So people have been asking “what can i do thru all of this?” It has become clear that the best thing you can do is clear your emotional charges and allow Life to inspire you forward. From that inspiration you can truly make a sustainable difference for all of us.

What has become clear is that we can no longer rely on media, politicians and the masses for guidance of any kind as it all has an agenda. You must clear your heavy energy and listen intently to your Inner Voice about the best way forward. You must empower yourself to do what is right  for you regardless of the outer world.

You do you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

Self Love

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What is self love? To me it means checking in with your own guidance and energy to see how much others might require vs. how much you have to give. And then acting accordingly. It means saying yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, honoring your feelings in any given situation, not feeling like you owe anything to anyone and not letting others steal your shine or pull on your energy to bring you down.

 

Another way of looking at it – not giving a shit what others think of you or your choices as you do what you need to do for your Highest and Best. You see, no one else can really tell you what action self love requires because it means stepping back, going within for your inner guidance and trusting that what you felt for you was/is the best possible thing to do. And you know its the best thing to do because you can literally feel the right answer in your body as a surge, a positive flow, a leap in your heart, etc. Nobody else is gonna feel what you feel for you.

 

An example – You and a friend/family member had plans to do something that evening but you feel totally exhausted. Or you just learned that there was a class that night for something that really spoke to you and you got really excited thinking about it. Self love means that despite the fact you already had plans that you honor first and foremost how you felt, whether tired or excited about something else. Yes, you might disappoint someone but if they are really your person then they will understand. If not, you can show them about Tapping – lol!!

 

We have this thing in society that if we keep giving, even though we are depleted, then we are doing the right thing because we are helping others – wrong!!! That is a waste of energy and creates because you have nothing to give and they aren’t getting what they expect. You are then literally pulling off your energy reserves which creates resentment. You are learning when to push yourself and when to rest. Saying no can be jarring to others but you have to honor what is best for you in that moment.
Self Love means everyday asking the question – How full is my cup? If your cup is empty then it is time to be selfish and fill your cup up. How you fill your cup is up to you but it usually involves doing something that makes you feel positive and whole again. Sometimes being selfish is what you need. That might irritate others but that is their own business to work thru. Again, if they are your people, they will understand eventually.

 

On the other hand if your cup is full then it easy to be of service and you have plenty to give. It doesn’t mean you let others walk all over and take advantage of you. It means that, if it feels right to you, then you have plenty of yourself to share. Which brings us to boundaries.

 

Healthy boundaries are an essential part of self love. This means that you have ALL of the right to say who or what is going to be in your space. If someone is always being negative around you or to you then self love is asking that person to stop or just stepping away. It can be hard when its a friend or family member but your essential job is to keep your energy strong. Sometimes we have to ask whether we are helping someone or enabling them. Enabling someone is unhealthy for all parties.

 

Self Love means not letting the outer world define who you are. Everyone has stories running in their heads about who you should be and what you should be doing. You have to learn to not listen to that if it is not in alignment with you are you. Let them have their stories but always BE YOU!! Ayishat Akan said, “self care is not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” In addition, if your own mind is running a story that doesn’t feel good or makes you feel pressure to get something done, and this doesn’t feel good to you, then you have to train yourself not to listen to the trash it is talking. If this happens you have to go within, find your quiet space and ask for guidance on what to do for this moment. Don’t let your mind tell you who you are, feel who you are in the still space of your heart!!

 

And lastly, self love means honoring all of your feelings and loving both your light side and your dark side. It is rather easy to love our light side and show it to others but we typically hide our dark side from both ourselves and others. Or perhaps a dark part keeps us from expressing our light side.

 

We like to think that we can put our dark parts in “jail” and they will just stay there but they have a way of coming to the surface, particularly in our relationships. Life has a way of beautifully bringing things to the surface, does it not? Our dark parts need the most love and attention and yet society honors us hiding them away – “Don’t be sad” , “Don’t get angry” , “Don’t worry about it”. If a child or pet was having a tough time do we yell at them and tell them off – no. Our true nature is to be tender even if our mind is talking shit about things. Our dark parts need some TLC and some permission that it is ok to be there. Are you ready to love yourself?

 

photo by Bart Larue

 

Stilling the Mind

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So many of our guests have said that they tried meditation and that is was too hard or wasn’t for them. While, indeed, meditation can be challenging at first I believe with practice it can get easier over time. Kinda like working a muscle you haven’t used in a bit there is going to be some soreness and weakness at first. But in this case the soreness is akin to lots of mind chatter.

When i first sat down to quiet my mind the first thing i noticed was how busy it was in there. It didn’t want to be still – it wanted to think and do stuff. It wanted something to be happening in the outer world. I would sit there with lots of running thoughts, my body would get all twitchy/uncomfortable. Perhaps some can relate. This is the mind getting in the way because it doesn’t want stillness. Stillness represents something unknown and mind hates the unknown. Your mind will literally do and say anything to get you to focus on thought. And now you are thinking instead of being still.

It is important to remember that whatever your mind focuses on grows stronger in your outer world. This is so important. If your mind keep thinking of a thought, the thought grows and grows……. If you focus on stillness then you will find more stillness show up in your thoughts and life experiences.

So you make time to still your mind because it seems like the right thing to do but the thinker just keeps on humming along or tells you that this will never work and you give up. Amirite? So i am going to offer a few ideas/suggestions that might help:

 

1.  At first keep your meditation/stillness short – like 5 minutes. Set the timer on your phone or something. This is a doable goal and from my experience even 5 minutes can seem like forever at first. Just keep giving yourself little 5 minute quiet sessions when you can.

 

2. It doesn’t matter how you breathe, sit, hold your fingers or any of that stuff. Heck you could even have a walking meditation in nature that helped you to find stillness. Go for comfort and what works best for you.

 

3. Start by finding the time of time that feels right for you to experience stillness. This will make it easier. For me, I have found that morning, sunset and late evening work best and that mid day is almost impossible. I do my best to meditate during those times of day that i know i can more easily relax.

 

4. Meditation is not about stopping your thought but stop thinking about your thoughts. Get into the neutral space of noticing. If you sit down to meditate and have a thousand thoughts then just let them be there. If you don’t focus energy on them they will go away!! Just use your 5 minutes to notice the thoughts without thinking about them and try again later.

 

5. Stillness isn’t a goal as much as just allowing yourself to be where you are and to notice it. If you set a certain goal and don’t reach it then the mind will get all irritated. Don’t set goals other than for 5 minutes i am going to be still and notice what comes up. Nothing might come up, anger might come up, a thought comes up – well, just let it come up without engaging in the mental dialogue. When you can start to do this then you will be well on your way to feeling more peaceful.

 

So why even still the mind in the first place? Because I have noticed there is a silent peace that exists, that i feel and experience when I am not thinking. I noticed that when I am thinking my mind is constantly telling me how something needs to be better or different about life – flipping constant!! When I am not thinking i don’t have those thoughts (or don’t care) and just feel peace and contentment. That is why I share this – maybe I can help someone else find some peace and contentment.

So, in addition to other earlier thoughts I am going to share a few meditation ideas that have worked for me and my guests over the years. They are simple and they seem to help to still the mind when i implement them. Here they are:

 

Two Word Mantra

For five minutes you can try something like this. Say to yourself a little two word mantra where you breathe in the first word and exhale the second word. I use ” I am” , “here now” or “just this” regularly. You do this for 7 to 10 times and then you stop to just notice. If you feel peace then sit with the peace. If more thoughts come do another 7 to 10 mantras and then stop.

Or for five minutes just do the little mantra and then stop after to see/experience how you feel. Also you can use this throughout the day when you have time to yourself to bring some Presence to where ever you may be – in the car, stuck in line at the store, etc.

The opposite of this is just letting your thoughts run and thinking about them which, honestly, is a waste of energy and a general shit show.

 

Water Meditation

Visualize yourself sitting at the edge of the ocean. When a thought comes see the water come up like a wave completely over you and take the thought out to the ocean. Keep doing this until the thought lets go of you and then notice the silence. When the next thought comes just keep repeating the waves. You will reach a place where thoughts will start to lessen/subside and you feel the peace for yourself.

 

So, as you can see these are both pretty simple. By visualizing or breathing you give your mind a job to you, which it seems to love. While the mind is feeling good about that you can slip underneath to feel the stillness. The more you practice the easier it will get and the better you will probably feel. The mind will quiet down and you will feel more peace.

So what do you have to lose? Give it a try and see what happens.

 

 

 

 

Making the right choice

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Many guests that we work with come to us because they want guidance in making a choice going forward as they are not sure of themselves. These choices usually involve the topics of relationships, career or moving (where to live) – important topics in life.

We would get done with an energy session or a meditation and they would ask – “Did you get anything for me?”. And during those sessions I would try like heck to get some kind of inner guidance to pass along to them. I did this mostly out of fear because I wanted them to think I was a something. And although I  would pick up on intuitive guidance and share I began to see how disempowering that was and how I was contributing to that disempowerment. My job was to help clear some of the gunk out so they could remember to turn within and get their own answers.

I remember one of my first intuitive readings – I wanted all of the answers to what was next, what should I do and how should I do it. The healer would only share bits and pieces and she said – ” I want you to figure these things out for yourself.” At first I was agitated but, over time, I can see that she was trying to empower me to find my own guidance.

Although getting a reading or asking another person for guidance can be helpful at times when used at the right moments,  I feel that there is too much dependence on that type of thing and a complete lack of trust that we have all the answers we need to move forward with. In fact, you body is constantly giving you information on what to do. We are just so busy thinking that we can’t feel it.

So I would like to share a few things that are helpful to me when I have a choice to make:

1. Remember to listen to your body

Without even knowing you, I would bet then when you first started thinking about what choice to make you felt a little positive sensation in your heart about one of them. You felt a small rush of excitement and thought how awesome that would be. There is your answer!!!!!

What happens is that after we feel that answer, our minds (which operate in self preservation fear mode 24/7) immediately go to work telling us how scary it will be, how you can’t afford it, how negatively others will see it and then we pull back doubting the answer we quite literally felt because we believe the stupid shit our mind is telling us. The mind hates the unknown so of course it will try to keep things the same.

Run toward that first feeling and hold onto it for dear life. Remember it, write it down, trust with all the trust you can muster!! Your job isn’t to figure out how everything will unfold in the future but to hold onto the positive feeling and allow Life to unfold it for you.

 

2. If you are not sure, take your choice into your quiet time and wait until you can feel the right answer in your body like some epiphany

What we usually do is sit up in our minds and have epic debates about what will happen. It will play out all future scenarios (even though the future isn’t here yet) and get us to make all kinds of pro/cons list. This is a waste!! You mind only works in memory! It could never know the future. Epic stressful waste of energy.

Instead, take the question into your quiet time – meditation, journaling, prayer, nature time, yoga, hot bath, etc.  and listen until the answer finds you and you can feel the right way forward with confidence. The answer might come in one hour, one week, one month but we always get answered. You will know it when it finds you.

Allow the answer to come how it comes. You might get a thought or feeling, you might read something, talk to someone, overhear something – Life works in all of the ways.

 

3. Look at your true inner intentions

If you are not sure of your choice you might want to look at your real intentions with self honesty. Are you doing this out of any fear – fear of money, of how I am perceived, of what others will think, am i pleasing them? If you are you may want to step back, clear out your fears because you don’t want that fearful energy in your future creation.

Or are you making a choice out of love – because you are excited, curious , want to grow, feel up for a challenge, need a new start, etc. Those are good reasons and, if those are your intentions, then you are going in the right direction.

 

4. It is not about right or wrong

The mind operates in right or wrong. It fills us with fear of making the wrong choices and energizes that shitty self critical dialogue.

It is more about what is going to help me grow as a soul. So you might want to ask that question in your quiet time when faced with a choice to see what comes back for you.

 

If there is a common theme here it is about slowing down, breathing and listening when we are not sure. Don’t energize the racing mind as it is mostly fear based. When you can be still and empty I truly believe that Life shows you the way forward and you are there, present, to receive the answer. Then you need to be brave and follow through but at some point you must trust that you felt the right answer even though the future is a big, vast unknown. Choose well!!!

 

 

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

Reflections

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Just like the creek that is reflecting the changing of seasons into Fall, so is Life always reflecting back to us the changing in our lives. Our job is to observe what Life is reflecting back to us and listen for the best course of action( or non action) going forward.

When Life is reflecting back beauty or peace then It is letting you know that you are in the Flow and to keep up whatever it is that you are doing. Pat yourself on the back, job well done!

When Life is reflecting back difficulty or turbulence then It is sharing with us that there is turbulence going on within. Life is not punishing you or bringing you bad karma, It is merely telling you that you have some stuck energy or are believing some untruth. This is actually good information to have because you have the power to work with this.

We have mistakenly been led to believe that Life happens to us, but maybe what is more true, is that Life happens for us in order to grow as souls. So when someone does something weird or Life brings you a weird situation where you can literally feel the stress of it in your body then it is for you 100% of the time. Again, it means that you are being alerted to holding some untruth/stuck energy.

Our job, when we feel this stuck energy (stress) is to not react, allow the feeling to be there, breathe and use our tools to help move that energy along. But what do we usually do? We react like crazy, looking to blame the outer source of the stressful energy and go into victim mode. We want to mow down whoever is doing this to us even though, in the Grander Scheme, they are serving as messengers of our own stuck energy. Once you begin to work with this energy and help it to move, then the outer world triggers can begin to fall away. The people that usually set you off stop setting you off and you stop attracting those type of people. Can you now see that the power is with you?

When Life, in the form of a person or situation gets weird and you don’t react then you are in balance. You accept the situation as it is which is a great first step to unconditional love. A love which wants nothing to be different about anything.

So if you are looking outside in your life and you see a reflection of lack of love, abundance, trust , etc. then Life is sharing with you that you are holding beliefs around lack. Find those beliefs, feel them in your body and allow that energy to move. You will then see your outer world begin to shift – it is pretty cool. You have the power to shift things!! It was always with you!!

If you are not sure how to move that energy –  I posted an earlier blog called Integration which shares a helpful tool, you can use EFT/Tapping, Emotion Code or you can contact us at Inner Journeys to be of service in this regard. We can work in person or via distance to offer guidance.